Do Not Disturb

2018-05-04 20:29:16 (UTC)

Mixed Emotions

Hate is a very strong word but in this case. Do you think I give a two timing flip? Nope. Didn't think so. All he knows is how to read someones messages after I keep sending him not one but the 3 messages and more and also me calling him constantly. No wonder he's not answering. I've become obsessed with this guy and yet he reads my messages and yet I still do it... Text him.. Yesterday he specifically told me he wasn't coming today that is but onlt because I flipped out and hung up in his face and that day is today... He's not coming and a part of me needs to accept that but a part of me doesn't. I'm going to my dad's tomorrow morning to Mississippi. I need to escape this hell hole I like to call my hometown. The place where I grew up. Its bull. When I grow up I wanna move far away from here as possible. I've become so obsessed over boys that doesn't even care about me... No one cares about me... And they would only want one thing from me and that is sex. Me and Dishon had sex we kissed. It was great. He just wanted to be friends but I didn't listen. I wantes to be in a relationship so badly now all he does is read my messages. Maybe he's right. Maybe everyone is rigjt about me. I'm crazy. I fall for guys way to easily. When is their a day that I actually focus on myself for once. Instead of boys because that's whwre my mind been at a lot lately. I pushed him away. I really liked the guy. I thought we were gonna go somewhere but sadly he's not coming because of the stupid things that I say and do. I can never say what's on my mind. It always comes out wrong and I don't try to let it be. I'm so stupid,clingy, obsessed,emotional,ect ect.... I'm always and I am always looking like I'm about to cry and I do then I get mad and then I flip out over the stupidest things. I have all these mixed emotions... I'm gonna stay single foreber up until I can actually figure out what I'm with my life because as of now I have no idea. I mea. I wanna go to college and all but I wont be able to take my ACT until next month. M says that he really likes me. I told him I just wanna take it slow. He's willing to do that. But then again I'm still not so sure.

Write more as soon as possible


The Forgotten One