Scream Above the Sounds
It's so difficult to know what I want to do. Still at 27 I'm not even close to knowing what I wanna do or where I want to be. I read something funny earlier about how people who just sort of flunked school, did drugs and left about year 8-9 to have kids are doing better off now than people are who actually have degrees and stuff. It's a messed up world.
Since June 2017 I've been writing articles for a wrestling website, they are mainly just opinion pieces but I've also covered predictions and some things like that. I've been a fan of pro wrestling since I was about 7 or 8 years old. I don't know why I didn't pursue this earlier, I think I would be in a much better position now if I focused on writing and stuff like that way earlier. I guess I was always a bit shy/negative/embarrassed about it all. "Why would anybody care or want to read what I've written?" etc. Stuff like that.
I feel like I could keep on pursuing it and maybe it could lead to writing somewhere more prestigious. I'll always have an interest in it so it doesn't do any harm to try and promote myself. I was debating whether to take a course in journalism or creative writing, something like that.
Option two would be to try and get back into acting. I haven't really thought about it in years but after talking about it in work a few nights ago, I am tempted to give it another shot. I never really gave it a proper go last time. I'm just way too pessimistic, narcissistic and so many other things. I did drama in school and after I left school I attended a drama workshop for a couple of terms. I did some extra work in TV shows like Casualty and Doctor Who but nothing substantial. I just have a really bad image of my head of me still doing extra work and trying to break into acting at the age of like 40. Like Ricky Gervais in Extras, I just wouldn't be able to handle it.
I dunno, I need a serious think but I should definitely try and pursue one of them, if not both. It's just hard to find the motivation and have a positive outlook. I just want to do something I'm proud of and be happy.