Scream Above the Sounds
Welcome to Heartbreak
My ex girlfriend messaged me earlier and asked if I could go over to the flat and check out an alarm she heard going off as she left for work. She obviously didn't want to message me but didn't have a choice as nobody else could have got there. She asked her mum but she wasn't responding and I still have the keys to the place. I wasn't doing anything and I'm obviously going to help her with anything she asks. So I shot over there and checked it out. It was coming from her apartment block, for sure. It sounded as if it was in the apartment below hers though, she's on the top floor.
I was on the phone to her and some guy approached me and said that it had been going off since lunch time and continued to throughout the day. He said he wasn't sure what it meant or how it was triggered. It's probably still going off now. Anyway, I rang her and told her it was still going and relayed what that guy told me. I told her I'd go into the flat quickly to check on the cats and ended the phone call.
It felt super weird going back to the flat. I probably shouldn't have gone inside really because I knew how I was going to feel the moment I did. Just opening the door, the smell was intoxicating and overwhelming. It filled me with such happiness and then I just felt hollow, it was a really strange feeling. Raine, our "baby boy" cat quickly ran at me when he heard the keys in the door and I picked him up and gave him a cuddle. I couldn't really get near Jaina, our other cat who is female. She almost treated me like a stranger. That made me really sad. She used to love me. She used to cry and scratch the bedroom door when I would be trying to sleep and she couldn't get in. I kinda understood why she was like this though. She has always been weird with strangers and that's what I am now. She hasn't seen me in about 3 weeks, maybe a bit more. I was just "somebody else" now.
We had a throw for them that we usually left on the sofa. I just laid it out for them to sleep on, like I always used to. I gave Raine a hug and I said goodbye. I went into my old computer room and picked up a few bags that I knew were mine ready to take back to my parents whenever I wanted to go up there. I've been putting it off to be honest. It's probably best if I go up there again soon and get the rest because it's the only thing left that binds us. She'll have no real reason to contact me anymore after I get the last few bits and pieces. She seems to be coping pretty well and that's the only thing that matters to me.
I think this is the earliest I'll be going to sleep in a long time. It's 1:04am, I feel tired, drained, sad and ill.
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