Jen just jen

full :: transparency
2018-04-19 01:27:33 (UTC)

Nighttime sleepy-sad

It's been one of those long workdays. I spent most of it quiet. It's okay that I'm like that because my woman times put me in a mood.
Or I was just in a mood arbitrarily. I was just being stubborn about putting a conscious effort into the effect I have on people.

Still, when nighttime came around, I got to do dishes, and I got myself some sick tunes to put me in a good mood. Then drive thru boy seemed to hang around while I did the dishes. I feel like he just likes hanging around me like I do him. I mean, I completely ignored him like I do cus I'm sometimes an asshole in that way, but he's chill. I still feel sorta bad for not say goodbye to him before I left for the night, but not so bad that I'm going to keep mentally punishing myself by feeling guilty.

I know I've made a big deal about this whole thing on here, and I even said that I hope I get some resolution to this whole thing before I leave at the end of this week, but I think I'm fine. I heard him talk about prom plans with his bestie, drive thru boy #2, and I just think that whatever could happen between us couldn't ever happen yet anyhow. Well, obviously. But when I was doing dishes and he was doing some minor cleaning up, I think just being friends is fine.

I sound silly.

At least these tunes are reminding me that apathy is not the only option. There's a world to explore out there that I've shut out. It's time to open that fun world up to me again. Somehow.
Anyways, I need to get some energy out from these sick vibes these sick tunes are giving me.




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