2018-04-16 11:27:46 (UTC)


It's 2018. Congrats on your 21st. You can now legally smoke hookah and buy alcohol. Go fuck up your life.
You don't care what people call you now. No one calls you anything - because you have few friends.
Your favorite colors are green and white.
The Muslim network barely reaches out to you. It's their fault as much as it's yours. Your maturation has allowed you to see that you are in complete control of who you decide to surround yourself with.
The last journal entry you wrote was just a few minutes ago, but it didn't summarize everything that has happened so far, like Reversion. You're here to do just that. You don't talk to Atif, Osman, Benish, Deej, Nuha - anyone. You don't even remember if you had sent Reversion to Osman. It wouldn't matter now - you haven't heard any of their voices in so long.
You popped by in Chicago to visit the nest as well as Faraz. He gave his location away via Snapchat picture and you knew exactly where he was. He had no idea I was coming. The surprise lit up his mood. You no longer have feelings for Faraz. It was just a proximity thing, as are many things,
as was your relationship with Hassan.
That "relationship" was probably the most simple and complex "relationship" you have ever had. You missed the way things used to be, but you liked them with him around. You feel like Arabs are inherently egocentric which is hilarious. Jawad and Hassan both loved to talk about themselves and their histories. Though you also feel like Hassan is someone I will never be able to forget. He moved away to Saudi Arabia.
You have a feeling that Juan Zavala, your long time best friend and old coworker, might have some undefined feelings for you. Either that or he's just been very emotionally unstable for a long time.
You've been to a shit ton of bars within the past few weeks, starting with your birthday celebration. You were secretly upset about the many people on Facebook who said they would be attending. No one except for family and James Lawson came to your birthday party.
You deleted your Whatsapp too. Your phone is always dead. You're barely on any app anymore.
You're currently watching Jessica Jones because you finished HTGAWM, Rick and Morty, Scandal, and a few other anime shows. You also got into Friends from a combination of your California visit and Hassan. You couldn't see why it was so good until the humor actually appealed to you. All you can hear is Hassan's whiny voice when he complains about the liberals who complain about the problematic aspects of the show. You had a nice smoking sesh with Bavo and Sindhu but Sindhu's fucking crazy. You'd rather stay away from her forever.
You also gave a presentation last week high as fuck. Probably the most anxiety you ever had in a while.
Stay fresh homeboi.