✯Sincerely, Me✯
☯LivingWithMyself☯
Dear You, ..
Dear You,
Firstly, I just really didn't expect to see your entry. Part of me hoped that maybe you'd read my diary, but I always figured if you did, you had already and wouldn't say anything.
I was stunned when I saw your entry listed in the public diaries list.
I didn't think I'd ever hear from you again.
Secondly, I want you to know that I appreciate you updating me on your life. I'm happy that you're rid of your step-dad, and that you're in your own place, and that your job is slowly progressing. I'm proud of you, and I'm happy to know that you're doing alright.
I hope things improve even more, and I hope that your efforts to surround yourself with people pay off. I'm sorry that it's hard. I understand.
You don't have to talk to me.. You don't have to come back, you don't owe me a single thing. That was one of the reasons that has always made me hesitant to reach out to you again.. knowing that I still have issues, and I still care for you, and I'm not sure how it would be.
But I can't say that I don't want you to come back, because I do. I do wish we could talk again, and we could be friends, because.. I do miss you. I think about you every day.
But I don't want you to come back, if that's not something you want, or are ready for.
I have nothing to offer you. I'm still a loser. :') I still deal with the same problems I had back then.. and I'm pretty much alone because Nick and I no longer speak.
It's good to know that you didn't end up hating me for the choice I made... It wasn't easy to make. It was something that I had put off for a long time before I even did it because of how much I didn't want to lose you.
That's another reason I didn't reach out. I was so afraid of what you thought of me afterwards. I was certain none of it was good. I agree with you about how it would have only gotten worse between us. I knew it was inevitable.
Things I said that I shouldn't have, haunt me every day.
I want you to know that I am sorry for everything. I'm sorry it didn't work. I should have better to you.
I shouldn't have been so insecure.
I'm glad to have heard from you. It means so much to me. This is hard for me to write..
I kept the pin you bought for me, even though Ruger messed it up.
I even got two more.. One for my bag, and one for my jacket, or hat.
Whatever you choose to do, make sure to choose happiness.
All I want is for you to be happy. I hope you can find as much of it you can.
And just know that if you ever need anything, I'm always here.
Thank you again.
Sincerely,
Me
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