Do Not Disturb

2018-04-11 22:50:14 (UTC)

Do I Look Fat?

I've been asking myself this question a lot lately. And I've been feeling fat A lot lately. Its like everything I eat I don't want to eat it anymore because I feel fat. Like today I cooked these 2 delicious jucy hamburgers not to long ago and whenver I bite into it I can never seem to stop even when I know I am full ( let's just pretend for a second their I didn't forget how to spell full ). I've been exercising lately but it hasn't been going anywhere. Okay. I haven't. But I want to and I need too. I haven't been myself every since my ex broke up with me. I feel as if, I need to talk to another guy to forget all about him but it just doesn't helps.
My mom believes that he is talkin to someone else in his hometown and that also being the reasoning of him breaking up with me. I honestly don't care. I mean I do I just wanna forget about him. But I don't want to because I still love him but he doesn't with me anymore. He says he does but I think that is just a lie. If he still did he wouldn't break up with me (as I said before)? We were suppose to be the couple to work things out despite of what his family says or, anyone but he has let them get so into his head. I wish I haven't done it but I did and I apologized for it but I guess it wasn't good enough. At least for him. I deserved it. And he deserves someone better than, me. I'm clearly NOT in the mood for anything. Ethan has stopped talking to me not knowing why but fuck him...Right??? Yes it's hard being single but at least I have my freedom back. And I am able to focus on myself and for once NOT about a guy. Like finding a job and that has failed but that I will continue to do. Still not in college but that I will do as well as retaking my ACT. My face has gotten fat. Maybe I should just cutt down on the sweets to only Fridays and Saturdays. Yea. Sounds like a plan I can totally do that. It's been three days since I haven't heard from Ethan and I'm over here losing my shit just because he is not interested. No thanks. Fuck him. And fuck all the guys that says so other wise. But the only guy that seems to be interested is Marquis. But we're just friends even though he insist on calling me baby every 24/7. So, I just let him have at it but we are NOT. I repeat are NOT together.

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The Forgotten One

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