taking heed

slightly exaggerated
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2018-04-11 03:47:29 (UTC)

adventures with zoloft 2.0

It's been 6 days since I DECIDED that my brain is beyond non suicidal function on it's own and began a new regime of those yellow seretonin reuptake inhibiting motherfuckers. I've only just regained the ability to sleep, it was a cruel 6 days, yesterday especially. But if right now, tonight, is an indication of what to expect.. sigh. It would be welcomed. It's kind of incredible that I'm not dead yet. OH! Panic attacks! Panic attacks are a thing I get now. Living. the. life... Zoloft probably fixes panic attacks too.

I've pared down everything considerably, everything in my life - my space, my friends, food, . Stuff I can control, git it where you can. For the most part, I think it's helped at least keep the clutter out of my mind. Idk.

I took a jaunt through her diary today. She's such a good writer and smart, why did she ever romp with me? I know the answer of course, it's because I'm really good in the beginning and on line I'm good, but anything closer and longer and my veneer fades pretty fucking fast. It's an esblished pattern at this point. Oh well.