Scream Above the Sounds
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2018-04-10 17:27:50 (UTC)

The Nightmares Begin

I don't tend to dream that much and I rarely ever fall victim to nightmares. It's 5:30pm, I've just woken up.

I had a bad one last night. Not on levels such as somebody being murdered or a crazy guy hunting you with a machete. It was nothing on those levels. You can probably guess, it was about my ex. I don't remember it entirely, just bits of it. The nightmare mainly consisted of her moving on and starting a family with somebody else, but I could see everything that was happening. She was even at some sort of house party with me, along with other people. I think it may have even been my apartment in this dream, I don't remember. She was happy, laughing and flirting with some guy. I just remember storming out like a kid, haha.

I mean, its destined to happen. She really wants to be a mum, and whilst I want to be a father I don't feel ready for that yet, financially or otherwise.

I kinda hope this is a one off, waking up off the back of that has got me feeling so low. It's bad enough when you're plagued by dark, depressing thoughts and scenarios when you're awake. To be haunted by them when you're trying to get some peace and rest is too much.

The dream weirdly ended with me leaving for work, a lot later than usual. My shift was going to start in 10 minutes and I'd usually go to my parents and my Dad would drop me into town where I worked. I was nowhere near ready. I started running and some guy about 20 years older than me started running alongside me. He was bald, massive beard. He started laughing at me and then hit me. I didn't hesitate and punched him in the face. I continued making my way to my parents house until another two guys showed up, looking similarly like the first thug. They all started scrapping with one another. It was so bizarre. Maybe it was like Fight Club or something? It was weird as hell.

I have no idea what any of it meant, it was just pure nonsense haha.