Scream Above the Sounds
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2018-04-10 04:15:16 (UTC)

Mr. Writer

I'd kill for an early night. I don't remember the last time I went to sleep before midnight. It's been months. I really want to quit my job, I feel so miserable. I'm desperately looking for something else and then maybe I'll get a place on my own. I don't really know, I'm not great at planning.

Despite growing up and living in this house for 23-24 years, coming back and living here just doesn't feel right. I was never really that close to my parents. They've always bent over backwards and done everything for me but we just never really had an amazing relationship. I wouldn't ever talk to my parents about my problems etc. Some people might find that odd, some people might agree with me. It's just weird. My Dad has never really paid much interest to me either. My mum wants me to be fulfilled and happy but she doesn't really get my train of thought. She'd like to think she understands me but doesn't have the first clue. Not that I'd hold that against her, it's probably better this way.

Even though my parents are here, there's a pug constantly running around, and my sister who occasionally comes home when her boyfriend is busy. I still feel extremely isolated and forgotten. None of my friends have asked me how I'm doing. It's hard to know who my friends even are these days.

I've decided that I want to learn how to drive because if I don't start soon, I'm never going to. My mum never learned and I know she regrets it massively. I want to make a lot of changes and...just grow up really.

I've wasted so much time.