edd

Scream Above the Sounds
2018-04-09 05:21:46 (UTC)

Tonight

Tonight has been better, I don't feel a whole lot better given recent circumstances but it's a weak improvement.


It's 5:21am, I just finished watching WrestleMania 34. The show was booked quite oddly. Some great stuff, some not so great stuff and definitely some surprises and curve balls. It was an eight hour show, it was insane. I can't imagine how it must have been to be there live. I hope I can go to something like that one day. For the time being, I'll sit on Discord with two of my best friends and watch from the comfort of my home.


Now the distractions are gone and I'm left with nothing but my thoughts. Darkness, sorrow and pain start coming through the cracks and I realise that I'm not as okay as I thought I was a few hours ago. It took me a long time to settle down and sleep yesterday and I'm expecting more of the same tonight. I just really hope things are going to get easier. I really miss my cats. I wonder if they ever think of me or wonder "Where the hell did that guy go? he used to give us lots of cuddles and feed us!". I've been told that I can still go over the flat and see them if I want to but I think it would just be too awkward and cause too much pain. Walking away was so incredibly tough, I shouldn't go back.


A few people have reached out to me on this website in the past couple of days and it's really refreshing to talk to some new people and make new friends. It's nice to know we're not alone. My ex used to say, "We need to save each other". Not about us personally, this goes for everybody.


We all need to look out for one another and make sure people are okay.


Edd


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