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Scream Above the Sounds
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2018-04-07 03:46:52 (UTC)

Dry Your Eyes

It's 3:50am as I write this. I've just finished packing everything. 16 bags worth, some of it important. Some of it not so important. I mean, there's a Nintendo 64 Magazine dated '1996' in a bag somewhere..haha, that's pretty bad isn't it? The cats have absolutely no idea what's going on, it's like a playground here for them. As they play fight with one another and dive into every bag I'm trying to pack. They're funny little things. I've shown them a lot of love tonight and I'll be sure to give them both the biggest cuddle ever before I finally walk out the door for good. Man, I'm really going to miss them.


It hadn't hit me as hard as it did about 5 minutes ago when I finished packing, that in a few hours time, I have to start all over again.

I don't really know where you begin to get over a relationship of 8 years and I'm sure as soon as everything is back and my computer and desk are set up and I'm back here, in the "fortress of solitude" to write something new, it will hit like a ton of bricks. The breakdown hasn't happened yet. There has been tears, naturally but it hasn't been gut-wrenching or hard to breathe. I know that part is still to come. I just hope she'll be okay. At this point I don't really care what happens to me or how I feel anymore, as long as she is happy.

It's becoming increasingly harder to remain positive and hopeful. Especially when most of my friends are too busy to even say hi, ask how I'm doing, take any notice or realise what I'm going through. I'm not a needy person by any stretch, but times like this you need all the friends you can get.

I've had to bury my head in the sand and occupy myself with video games, podcasts and music.


I'd like to think this website is going to help me in the long run and I hope in a few months time, I'll be able to post happy, positive and exciting things.


Edd


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