Scream Above the Sounds
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2018-04-05 17:30:20 (UTC)

My Beautiful Dark And Twisted Fantasy

Something like this is supposed to help me vent my frustrations as I’m constantly engulfed by despair, self-loathing, guilt and shame.

Today marks one of the saddest days of my life as I’m breaking up and moving out from my partner of 8 years, it’s difficult because we live together and we have two kittens. Kittens aren’t even remotely in the same bracket as children but it’s sad that they will have to live without one of us, that “one” being me. I didn’t think I would get very attached to them as I’m not a big animal lover but I’ll miss them very much. My life is going to drastically change over the next coming weeks and months, moving back in with my parents, which I’m so incredibly grateful for. Whilst looking for a new job and just trying to keep my head above water. I can't make any promises but I will try to remain as positive as I can and hope I can grow and become a better person.

I’m trying to keep myself busy today by packing my belongings and spending a bit of time with the cats. I’m also playing on my White Mage in Final Fantasy XIV Online. I recently hit level 50 which is the original level cap, so my friend Josh has been helping me out with some vanilla end-game content before I decide whether to purchase the expansions or not. The soundtrack is amazing, I’m going to leave a link here for one of my favourite pieces.


My plans for this evening are to keep on job hunting, watch Arsenal play in the Europa League. Play a bit of Counter-Strike/FIFA with one of my friends and take my mind off of things.