LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
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Ezoic
2018-03-30 19:39:37 (UTC)

"My Lady's House" ..


"My Lady's House" by Iron & Wine

No hands are half as gentle
Or firm as they like to be
Thank God you see me the way you do
Strange as you are to me

March 30, 2018 Friday 7:39 PM

My fingertips are crumbling!

I am heading to Alexis's tonight. Liv and Soom'll be there. I dunno who else. I think Dave, Alexis's roommate. I am kind of sad today; sad since yesterday. I went on a second "date" type thing with a guy Charlie. He's cute, and very weird, and we just cuddled the whole day and partway through that I just felt wrong, mixed up inside. I wonder if that means I like him, since I felt that way with Moby... but also Isaac, whom I did not like so much. Ugh, I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like I don't actually want to near these people. I just want to own them and be owned. I want to sit in the other room, alone, reading, hearing them laugh occasionally from the couch or hear them drop something. Or they stop by the door and say something funny and we laugh and I hug them and they go away. That's what I want. Not the constant contact, not the disappointing conversations, not the inability to express my feelings at them—I want them to just know, because I have such a hard time saying it.

Instead of focusing on the negative, like I usually do, here are some things I like about Charlie:
I like the way he drives, with one hand on the wheel and the other hovering above the gear shifter (was gonna call it the PRNDL)

Oh shit I think I have to go.


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