Jay

(Comic) Book of Shadows
2018-03-30 01:45:02 (UTC)

TGIForgetting to Accomplish Anything...

A day off. I had a whole slew of things that needed doing; job hunting, calling unemployment to straighten out some form of issue, dealing with old medical bills, Hell just putting on pants...

None of which happened really, though I did get a shirt on at one point to check the mail. I managed to wake up and handle a couple of calls that rolled in, though with my phone on silent I nearly missed those as well. Made a cup of tea, had some food and passed back out off and on until pretty much the day was done.

I was watching for a delivery, I had ordered a portable hard drive to start gathering old cartoons for the ex who wants them for her's and the other children who live on the farm with her and her husband. Try as I might, I still can't seem to stop trying to do things for her. Oh, she doesn;t ask, there's no using really, just one of the fe seemingly decent and shy people who doesn't like asking for stuff and I have found as I have gotten older that I derive some pleasure from doing things for some others. Just annoyed I can;t get the enrgy up to get much done for myself. Maybe more that I feel a bit of a loser.

It's 9:50 and I am going to at least attempt to grab a shower, I have work tomorrow which will at least get me out of the house, and I have plans with the family for brunch this Sunday. Baby steps, the dperession thing always gets worse during these periods after a job loss or life change. Need to find the motivation beyond the past ones to get back out there. The ex helped for a time, and I'll always try top be there to help, but the reality is she moved on a long time ago and is to polite to say she doesn't even want to pursue much of a friendship now. She may say Hello once every other few months if I'm lucky, but generally I have to make the effort and I'm already aware that the now husband isn't that fond of our even occasional interaction (Regardless of my lack of intentions). There was a time even without that hope that I was driven to work harder, go back to school and do what I thought might make her a little prouder of me or be more worthy of the friendship. I'm weird, shoot me...

For now watching Enterprise in the background and downloading some Batman the Animated Series, Ghostbusters and Snorks (Trying to help my mock nephew grow up semi-Nerdy).




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