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2018-03-23 16:59:35 (UTC)

i miss

"Wait" by Secret Stars

Every town has a diner where I'll meet you
And your friends too
Things are just a bit nicer over some coffee
You can tell me all about your day
I don't know much about you
Not that I want to, not that I want to
Sometimes I can't escape from my room, so excuse me--I'll be just a little late
You will wait for me.

March 23, 2018 Friday 5:02 PM

1. making him laugh, and the space around his eyes creased and turned red and he threw his head back
2. tangling my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck
3. slotting our noses together
4. his nose like a knife against my neck
4. him kissing the tip of my nose, and my cheeks, and the top of my head, and my knuckles
5. when he would wrap me up in him to the point of near discomfort
6. interlacing our fingers
7. being smaller than him, so he'd pick me up and carry me bridal style to the bed, or he'd lift me by the hips and I'd wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist
8. when he talked about things he really liked. Like CS, or latin, he'd just talk forever about the translations or the goals of his code and I wanted to rip my face off and give it to him
9. when he cooed while we were cuddling and then squeezed me
10. our arguments over nothing, like whether or not it counted as breakfast if it was consumed in the mid-afternoon (I said no, he said yes; definition says we are both right)
11. when he'd say, "I'm really glad I met you," and I hated it but also at least he told me and I knew and I felt less terrified.
12. we both!!! liked taking night walks. And we'd just walk around providence talking/fake-arguing
13. we liked hitting each other, which made me happy because I've always loved the idea of being a little bit hurt and I think we had that in common
14. sleeping between him and the wall so I could feel protected :)
15. I LOVE. his little opal earring thing. it looks like an iridescent lady bug and the concept pleases me sooooo much. He got this recently but it deserves to be on the list bc its amazing

I thought this would make me feel sad, and it kind of does but it was also a little cathartic? I want to talk to him before he goes home for break in an hour but I don't know what I'd say. It's best I stay quiet.