Do Not Disturb

2018-03-23 19:44:30 (UTC)

Basketball Game

He doesn't even pay the least attention to me. I mean I get that he's with his family and all but what about me. It is hot in this hot ass gym and I got this long ass sleeve on. We're at a basketball game at the moment and I asked if he could sit down with me because I feel stupid sittinf down by myself. I mean this is the school he graduated from and I just don't belong here. And then he was saying how he wss gonna stop bringing me just because I be feeling some type of way about a certain situation. I feel as if everyone's starring at me even when their not. I'm gonna always gone be in my feelings theirs nothing I can do or say about it. I'd rather just leave it alone and leave him alone if I have to and if he have too. Bitch. Fuck. Hoe. Ass. Motherfucker. I wanna just scream. AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! He's standing up and I'm sitting down. I'm so stressed out at the moment but only because I let the littlest things get to me but apparently that doesn't matter to anybody and not to me. I just wanna go home and pretend this day never happened. I only came because of one thing and one thing only and that is because of him.... My boyfriend. But nothing seems to be working and half of the school seems to be only his cousin. This turned out to be the worst day ever and this day isn't even exactly close to being over. Am I doing something wrong? Of coarse. I'm always doing something wrong. Every minute of every second. And I know he hates that I'm feeling this way. Leaving me lonely this way. I'm sitting here lonely this way. Who knows how long this game will last? Its nothing but teachers vs. Students kind of thing. Nothing special. If I even try to at least hurt myself or even think of cutting myself its not gonna do me any help.

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The Forgotten One

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