Do Not Disturb
I didnt write anything yesterday because their was nothing to write other than, the fact that we had sex... Three times and I finally got my birth control pills ready and up to go. But I have to take it this Sunday since I didn't get it last weekend on that Sunday. That way I won't get pregnant and the birth control pills has been a working progress. Still bummed out about not going tomorrow and the fact that he's going without me is even worse. We do everything together that's what boyfriend's and girlfriend's do... Am I right? But I guess things just suddenly change. I like being up their and with him. Erin is no longer in the picture. Does his family even like me? If so then they wouldn't have now just said something about me not coming???... They have plenty of room they just don't have room for me to tag along 24/7. I feel like I'm not apart of the family. I feel left out. And what's even worse is that my brother will be coming back sooner or later. I talked to Derrick for the first time yesterday he didn't seem that interested. I mean I get that he's in the military and all but do you have time for me to spare. I mean after all we are family but then again I'm not so sure anymore. I don't know why I'd ever bother on texting him in the first place its just... You know... Its been a while since the last time I've heard from him but that doesn't matter anymore... At least for him. Somhow... Someway... I'm always seeming to mess things up for everybody and for myself. And that is how I'm making 2018 even worse for myself than, it ever had been. Hopefully college will take my mind off of things. The sooner I retake my ACT the sooner I get their... To college. I had a dream... A dream about yes Erin but the only thing I seem to remember is us being in the classroom and starring at esch other for what seems like forever. Okay, it was me starring at him and them, I had a dream of me buying a... Salad??? Sometimes I swear I have the craziest dreams yet. Mqybe its a sign. About me. About Erin... But what for.
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The Forgotten One
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