✯Sincerely, Me✯

☯LivingWithMyself☯
2018-02-28 22:08:42 (UTC)

Angrier and Angrier


Dear Reader,

As much as I know it's best to stay silent.. it's best to leave him wondering... it's best to just suck it up and take it..

There's so much swirling around in my head... so much boiling inside me.. And I feel like it makes me a bad person to have thoughts like this... to wish him ill will... even after what he did.

With every word I read today, the angrier I feel.

You've known her for what almost two weeks, and you skype with her no problem?
We've been best friends for three years, and I used to have to beg you to skype with me.. even when I told you how anxious I was.. how upset I was.. even when you knew how lonely I was, and how much worse it's been since J passed away, and Josh and I broke up...

You knew how much I needed someone, and you STILL brushed me aside like I was nothing..

You want to meet her in person, but you weren't sure you'd ever want to meet me?

You used to care about me... I knew that was starting to fade, I could feel it.. I could see it.. But I guess I just couldn't see just how little was left..

It honestly makes me sick. It makes my blood boil.

And now I know that it wasn't because you didn't like skype like you said.. It's that you didn't want to talk to me. You didn't want to see me...

I want to message you on your diary, I want to respond to that half-ass email.. I want to cuss you out, and make you feel as shitty, and as small, and as insignificant as you made me feel...

Spew venom at you..

And you know what? I know that if I DO that.. I know exactly what you'll do.
You'll turn around and tell her all about our fight, and of course she'll take YOUR side, and tell you what a terrible person I am, and how much better you are without someone like me in your life.

Why? That's what I want to scream.. You find love after I leave you... you find happiness, you find someone to talk to.. You get everything that's been taken away from me.. after you stomped on me..

Does it make me a bad person to feel this way?

I don't know what to do.. I want to say something.. I can't handle it.

I feel I'm going to burst at the seams.

Sincerely,




Ad: