Do Not Disturb

2018-03-01 18:08:30 (UTC)

Stupid... Stupid... Stupid

So,far 2018 has been a pain in my a** and all because I let it happened. And now no and I mean no one will forgive me. He says that he will "forgive" me and "trust" me but I doubt it. I fell in his trap and I fell hard... For him... at least . I should've known all along. I did know all along but never cared and now look to where it has gotten me. I screw things up. No matter how bad I wanna cut myself because of what had happened I can never forgive myself for what I did and for what I did to him. I'm just a useless piece of shit*t and everyone's gonna look at me differently because of it. He may not think so but I know... because they will... And I do... And its not gonna be him blocking me this time... Its me blocking him... I just feel stupid right now... And that's because I am. I know that everyone makes mistakes in the relationship... but I did... And I made a HUGE one at that. And part of it is partially his fault as well. But blame it on me huh. I know it is my fault but where is he to be in all of this. Nowhere to be found. Fuck this. Fuck him. Fuck the people that he is to be told. I have a boyfriend... That I love... And I do indeed love him. Now excuse me while I go cry some more until you see dry tears on my face. Maybe that was a tad bit dramatic but right now its not like I give a fuck. This will haunt me for the rest of my life. Can't 2018 get any worse than,it already has been.

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The Forgotten One

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