Wr1tt3n0ne

Bunches and bunches
2018-02-08 23:53:14 (UTC)

When You Find Your Darkness

Hearing all the tales of other's defining moments, the one type of story I don't hear is that moment when a person embraces their darkness. Perhaps, even as I hear of death, darkness is really what people cannot abide. For me it is intrinsically human to push that boundary as well. Why must we hide this bit of our humanity? Are we not equal part light and dark, grey but for the ones of us that seem not to be. Maybe it is because we are taught that morally we cannot or should not explore this line in ourselves? Being amoral I do not suffer from these issues as acutely nor deeply as others.


From my view, it is just as necessary to know that the line we make between the light and the dark and where we will go is made wholly and completely by us. In a very real sense it is an abstract notion that we hold tightly to and reassure ourselves it is wrought in stone. MIne is wrapped and bound up in my sexuality, as befits me utterly. I had a moment during some intense BDSM where upon finding myself in control of another, I found my line and shoved it around a bit.

She was on her knees, nude except for the rope, eagerly wanting to press her mouth into me. Normally, I hold back a second or two and let the moment spin out, savoring this little thrill I feel in the dark side of my mind. Today, however, my hunger for her was as keen as hers for me and I stepped forward abruptly and pulled her hair back and connected her mouth to me. Tip and then more of her was roughly faorced against me as I felt my knees weaken, then I stepped back, pulling her hair roughly to get her greedy mouth off of me. Then I raised my hand and slapped her across her moist face. Then I backhanded her face and her face swiveled back towards me. She had her eyes closed and I wondered for the space of a breath if I had crossed that line between rough and assault. The that bitch opened her eyes and a smiled curved her reddened face. The desire there was even thicker than what I felt.

I found that bit of darkness in myself, that desire to see red raised on her skin from my hand simply because I could. The arousal was almost painful in me and that high lasted mightily. My Sadism found her Masochism and they had themselves a time of it. It wouldn't be the last time I made myself uncomfortable with my willingness to plumb my depths with her. I would grow wickeder yet and she would find her satisfied smile more and more often. The wanting became thick between us, lurid with each blush of the cheeks, dirty for wanting to give it to her and so f*cking dirty that I loved that she loved it.

"I wanna push you around
Well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down
Well I will, well I will..." Push, Matchbox Twenty




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