Just Someone

Its Just Me
2018-02-08 17:05:21 (UTC)

i hate myself right now

It seems all I do now is just think how lonely, boring and sad my life is. The cycle of life is completely eating me and my mind.
When I go out to the world, it feels like i don't belong. I tried really hard to get in there and keep myself from thinking. Sometimes, If i could, Id like my mind to shut up. I really hate my life right now. I am so lost. I don't know what to do with myself. If Im somebody and meet myself, Id probably leave myself in the street to escape. Gosh, Why am I so lost? It feels like there is no pathway for me. Like Im being trapped in circle and theres no way out. I feel sad for myself. But I kept convincing myself that "its okay", "you'll get there", "you're doing fine", "you'll be alright", "it must have been hard but you did good". No matter how much I tell myself those words, nothing changed. I still feel hopeless and unwanted.

Lately, everyday I wake up, I feel like crying and just want to go back to bed. tears fall down while Im having coffee. It even comes out when i take a shower. My mind is so drained and tired. I seriously dont know how to console myself anymore. Its not like I have a friend to tell all of this, but even my family is tired and dont want to hear how sad I am. So i stopped telling them as they only get stressed and upset. I seriously dont know what to do with myself. I am so disappointed and I just wished I could stop all these nonsense.




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