Jen just jen

full :: transparency
2018-01-21 21:21:01 (UTC)

Undetonating the trigger

So my life has become dull, grey, boring, etc.
etc. for going on 5 months.
I just listened to this Abraham hicks thingy
sorry this is kind of boring, I've become boring and it's hard for me to construct likable thoughts.
Anyways I listened to this things about how you can choose better thoughts, which lead to other thoughts.
You can choose to unravel the points of tenseness in your life just by choosing to gravitate toward thoughts you are proud of having.
Which I know this. I know I do. I've taken responsibility of my life before.

The point at which I stopped was the point at which I decided I wouldn't be able to ever get anywhere with my life until I had some real support system to help prevent me from making the mistakes I do.
I really believe in this.
I believe not having family to guide me through things means I'll never get anywhere. Or that I'll get somewhere and then I'll start becoming a heroin addict when life gets hard.
I just feel like I can't choose to rely on myself, and hold myself consistently reliable.
I just don't feel like that's possible.

but at the same time, I've done it before.
It's just it got hard.


I know I'm just speaking in generals here because I haven't actually gotten out of the house lately. because of this.
I gotta do the thing.
jump in the water.
stop being so tepid. like I have.




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