wet blanket
Ad 2:
2018-01-16 15:46:43 (UTC)

I'm so unhappy. I can't sleep ..

I'm so unhappy. I can't sleep because all I can think about is how pointless my existence is currently.
I'm writing in the hope that it will help.
I'm broke. I literally can't pay for my rego or my phone bill. Let alone fuel for my car. I don't want to see my friends. I don't really want to see anyone. I dyed my hair brown so I'd feel different.. or better. It worked for about 5 hours. Now i'm back to being a waste of space.
I lost mums speaker, I can't find my charger I lose fucking everything why am I so shit. I can't do anything right.
My sleep pattern is so out of whack. The only things i look forward to at the moment are getting drunk or high, or both.
I look up to people that are completely different from me. I don't do anything to be like them though.
I can't find the motivation to get a job, or do anything. My diet has gone to shit. I feel like shit all the time. I hate myself but I won't change myself.
I'm just going to continue to wallow in self pity like a fucking teenager but I'm fucking 20 and my life is flashing before my eyes and I don't care anymore.
I'm messy, ugly, fat, unfit, unfixable and have no fucking direction. I'm not good at anything.
I'm fed up with it all.