This life
2017-12-30 16:08:15 (UTC)

At the dealership

Well, I've been sleeping a lot. Go figure. I usually have a horrible time sleeping and yesterday I slept for 15 hours straight! I wonder if my body is just giving out. I was late to work. I'm not hearing the alarm anymore. I gotta figure something out. And today I slept for 5 to 6 hours and I have to work 11-7 tonight. Suck pill.

At the car dealership getting the right rear interior door arm rest replaced and reprogramming my remote starter and key. Also asked if they would turn out my TPMS light on my car. Dad's with me. He's getting antsy. He's pacing the halls.

My husband has finished his temper tantrum and is working on the house again. Blake is going to do the drywall in our room. Kurt is working on the window trim in my room. Blake didn't do it right. I can't wait to start moving my stuff over into the sewing room. It'll make a big difference in the basement and the living room. I think I want to move out even more than the boys want us to move out. lol And they want us out pretty bad. They want to live on their own so bad they can't stand it. At least they'll be next door and I won't have to worry too much about them. We'll be close by if they need us.

Been here at the dealership for an hour and a half now. They are very busy, but I HATE waiting. That's why I bring my laptop whenever I go somewhere I might have to wait. It keeps me busy.

Change of subject,,,, I am down to 145 lbs and I'm wondering if I have a eating problem. I keep lowering my goal. At first it was 160 then 150 and now its 130. I gotta stop at some point. I have so much saggy skin and have lost my boobs completely. I wonder if you can have negative boobs. I'm starting to get freaky about what I eat. Like if I eat something not good for me I won't eat for the rest of the day. I fasted yesterday. I think I might be getting a touch of anorexia. My thinking is so distorted. I need to go to the gym. But I've been so tired lately. Maybe I should just be comfortable in the body I am in. That would be ok too. I'm 51, I'm not expected to be cute and sexy naked and I 'm not ever wearing a bikini again. There's no need to put myself through this constant feeling of "not good enough". So there it is. If I loose weight yay, if I don't ok. But I really want 130. I'm just 15 lbs away! oh well.