Wr1tt3n0ne

Bunches and bunches
2017-12-24 23:20:39 (UTC)

That's So Santa...

When I was a child, the Christmas holiday was my all time favorite. I soaked in the glow of the lights. Every year admiring the tree in the dark. Watching this ornament and that tinsel capture the light. It was the pure magic of childhood. As a wee young one, I had a couple of run ins with Ole Saint Nick.


One I distinctly recall being so very, very young, maybe three, maybe less. I had woken up and snuck out of bed. It was a very cold year for sunny Southern California. A frost had come. It actually required the heater running day and night in our dinky, drafty half a home. I had awakened, as was my adorable habit, in the wee dark hours of the morning. I flew to couch and climbed it to gaze out the window. I was scarcely taller than the sill on the low couch, but I could just peek out. I couldn't see anything but a red glow at first, the edges of the window were still frosted with the cold. Then I swear I saw the sled. Yep, that one. I don't know how to explain it. As an adult, I do not share this story. But without giving any explanation of the memory, I saw a glowing red old fashioned sled and what I guess would be reindeer harnessed in front. It didn't move nor disappear when I rubbed my eyes and I never did see the man of the hour. It just glowed, softly like candlelight without the flickering. It was there in the driveway, motionless. I rubbed my eyes and opened them and it remained. Then it occurred to me to get back to bed and I flew. It was long gone when I arose with the sun well up later that morning. I know I blubbered about it to my parents and I know they did not appear to believe me. Maybe it was a cutout, I still don't know. I certainly grew up around actors and artists, it is possible, so close to Hollywood, that it was merely some small set lit up. But that is just a theory, I never did see it again and I saw nothing to suggest what it was anything besides a sleigh and some reindeer.


When I was five or so, another strange Christmas memory happened. I was up at six in the morning, first light and I ran to the door, ever hopeful that I would again see that fabled sled. And instead I saw Santa. Again it was in my driveway, or rather he was. I stared round eyed and then I flew into my parents room and spewed forth the news.
"Santa's in the driveway!"
"You know you are not allowed to wake us before when?"
"9 o'clock, well, you said 8:30 was OK!"
Yes and what time is it?"
Well 6, but Mom SANTA IS IN THE DRIVEWAY. Can I please go outside?"
Are you allowed outside when we are not up yet?"
No, but Santa...." I was ejected from the room.

I flew back to the windowed door. He was still there. He made a motion with his hands to come outside. I shook my head no.
Minutes trickled past, I dared not take my eyes off of him. I was positive he would vanish. Finally i had to get dressed and go to the bathroom, each time, I ran back to the door he was there. Once he was gone but he came back with beers and his sunglasses on. So it went the whole morning. Caught between being good and and being bad in front of Santa. I mean, I had to be good, he was right there in the driveway! I ate my Cheerios facing the french doors, just so he wouldn't leave. Every time I had to leave I left my stuffed raccoon behind to watch him. I realized that I'd been watching him for quite a while. I pressed my face up against the window and said I would go ask again.

Santa smiled and made the go ask your parents hand gesture, something like a go and come back wave of the hand. I knocked and when my parents answered through the door, I yelled that I really, really wanted to go outside, please! No, no outside until they got up.
"What's outside that's so important?" My Dad wanted to know.
"Um, Santa!" I figured they didn't want to hear it again and I really, really had to get outside before he left.
"Oh yeah, what's he doing out there?"
"He's sitting in a lawn chair."
I ran to the french doors and peered out.
"And drinking a beer."
My dad finally answered the door.
"Santa's drinking a beer?"
"Yup, a Budweiser."
"In a lawn chair?"
"Yes!!! Come see, please!"
My Dad pulled on some clothes and moseyed to the door.
"Well?" My Mom called out.
"Well, I'll be d*mned, he's out on the driveway, sitting in a lawn chair, and drinking a beer."
"Who is?"
"Santa."
"You're kidding!?!"
"Nope, I'm going to let her go out."
So finally at 8:30 am, I got to run and jump in Santa's lap and recite the long list of things that were, well, hopefully already under the tree.
Santa appeared to be checking with my Dad and yes-ing and no-ing as necessary. He also looked pretty hot as it was almost 80 degrees by then and I gather he had a hot suit on from the sweat rolling down his face. He also seemed put out that my Dad had made me wait for so long. My Dad sheepishly apologized and reminded Santa that he should have called last night if he was going to make an appearance in the morning.

I gather it was our neighbor, still with his Santa suit from the night before's work. He'd camped himself out in the driveway and been waving at me through the glass of the french doors trying to get me to come out and say hi, unsuccessfully for well over an hour and a half. He'd downed nearly a full six pack by his lonesome in his lawn chair and sunglasses.

'Tis the season for the truly comic and magical to happen, so when you hear something unexplained or unlikely, just remember sometimes it really is Santa sitting outside sitting in a lawn chair, wearing his sunglasses, and having a few beers in your driveway.




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