Do Not Disturb

2017-12-21 19:54:09 (UTC)

Craving for your attention

I'm the kind of girl that craves for attention and if I don't get the attention I need I'll go insane. And he hasn't been paying that much attention to me ever since his brother arrived. And sometimes I dislike him for that. Maybe its just jealousy talking. I get that he hasn't seen him for a long time but doesn't know how that makes me feel. No one does. Like the other day when I went out to eat at Applebees it felt like no one knew I was here. I felt invisible the whole time. Because I was. If I talk I wouldn't know what to say. I felt left out their.... In their little group and not only including my boyfriend..... I judt wanna cry. Cry all the pain away. Yes I know I'm emotional but who isn't.... But Not to be included by my boyfriend Malike, his wife, and Dice all together and where am Who knows????
I'm invisible. They have more in common than with me. I wanna talk but I'm afraid that they won't like A) Don't like me as a person B). Don't care wnough to listen or C). Just don't give a fuck or D). All of the above. . And this is not only with one person this is just with anybody. I've felt like this for the past few days and no one noticed. It happens even when I'm At work. At home. When I'm with my boyfriend. Especially when I'm with my boyfriend. Does anyone care about how I feel? About all of this. I'm not trying to make it all about me it may seem like it but I'm really not. I grew up with no friends because I choose not to have any because that's just how I thought it be easier that way. I really honestly don't feel like going to work. I never felt like it. I'm always upset and for sometimes no reason at all. Now you see why I wanna be with my boyfriend 24/7 because I'm a loner with no friends except for one ( especially when I'm at home). I'm no fun. I just be wanting to sleep all day but I don't get the chance to do that or people think I'm lazy (even when I have a job). My mom even to yells at me for no reason at all even though she should be yelling at my brother for several... Many reasons. But anyways, 3 more days until Christmas...


The Forgotten One

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