nerd™

the anger games
2017-12-15 00:26:01 (UTC)

An open letter to a fuckhead (me)

Dear me,
First of all fuck you. Second of all let me tell you why:
You spend days doing absolutely nothing other than making up weird shit in your head and dreaming about how good things could be but never actually try to make it happen then you complain about how shitty your life is. Like, that's so retarded. You waste all the days you have to prepare for big projects or final exams then complain about being stressed the night before the exam. Do you even have a brain?
You spend weeks, yes, WEEKS without even showering. You just sit in your room and whine about everything being so hard. You're just disgusting that's all.
You complain about not being healthy and always bing sick but you eat chips for every fuckin meal. Like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
You are almost 19 years old and yet the biggest responsibility you can handle is charging your phone before bed.
You can't even buy anything ffs. You're always freaking out at stores because oh my god handing things to the cashier to scan then giving them money is so scary. Seriously? Even your 10 year old brother can do it.
You waste so many opportunities of getting extra credit in class just because you're too scared to raise your hand and answer a question that you 100% know the answer to become oh my God what if the answer is wrong?! Well, guess what bitch, the teacher isn't holding you at gunpoint and will shoot you if you get it wrong ffs nobody knows the answer and everybody is raising their hands to GUESS the answer while you actually KNOW it. Get over yourself, this isn't high school.
You lie about every fuckin thing because you're too scared to be judged but guess what? Nobody fuckin cares! Just fuckin tell the truth. So what if you failed your midterm? It was only worth 1 fuckin point from your final grade. And so what if you broke your key chain?! It's not the end of the world. You're nothing but a drama queen
You complain about having no friends when you're the one that pushes them away all the damn time. They texted you but you never replied, they invited you out with them but you said no, they try to be friendly but your replies are always stiff and rude. They are sick of your bullshit, they have their problems too so stop thinking that you're the only person in the world struggling in life. You had so many chances to make friends at uni but you wasted every single one of them because you are a coward. So stop bitching about it because it's your fault.
You preach about religion and judge everyone so quickly but you are the worst. You never pray unless you want something. You only pray when you have big exams coming up or someone is sick or you feel scared of some stupid shit. You belong in hell.
You use dad's death as an excuse for every fucked up thing you do when in reality you never even think about him. Every time he crosses your mind you quickly think about something else. You're scared to think about him, you are trying to forget about him. What kind of daughter are you?! If he is truly watching over the family then I'm pretty sure he ditched you a long time ago. You don't even pray for him.. It's like the only thing you can do for him now is to pray for him but no you don't even do that.
You wish for people to die... Are you even human? You hope for the worst things to happen to people just because something bad happened to you..i can't even comprehend it. You're fuckin sadistic. It's not like these people are the ones that put you through this, they have been nothing but nice to you.
You are so fake, you act nice in front of people when in your head you wish they would choke.
You keep dragging Di into your toxic friendship even though you're not even willing to try to make things work. She deserves so much better than someone like you.
You hate grandma because she is slow in everything and is so stubborn and lies about little details to avoid embarrassment and always blames anyone for her mistakes but really these aren't the reasons why you hate her. You hate her because you see your future in her. This is how you will end up.
You're always rude to her. You dismiss her opinions and ignore her most of the time and reply with rude shit sometimes but you know how this ends right? She will die eventually and you will spend the rest of your life regretting it... Just. Like. You. Did. With. Dad.
Remember dad? Remember the last days? Mire specifically THE last day? Remember that morning when you had a cold and he asked you how you were doing but you ignored him for no fuckin reason? Remember at the hospital? Remember when I told you to tell him that you love him because you've never told him those 3 words in your 18 years old life? Remember when you didn't listen to me?
I see that you're crying right now and you know what? I'm glad that you are. Feel the fuckin pain you fuckin moron.
And in case you didn't catch it, I'm gonna spell it out for you: YOU HAVE NEVER TOLD DAD THAT YOU LOVE HIM OR APPRECIATE HIM AND NOW HE IS DEAD.
Let that sink in
You deserve to cry yourself to sleep. You deserve every single bad day. You deserve every mental illness you may have.
And yeah 2018 is almost here. Another year for you to do what you can do best, disappoint everyone who knows you.
I can not wait for you to die already

Sincerely,
You.




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