Do Not Disturb
I meant to write in here yesterday but never got the chance. Me and Ray had sex for the first time well we tried before but it failed ( yesterday). It felt good even when it hurted like hell because I haven't had sex in so long. I told him from this day forward that we will be taking things slow. I mean sure yea he wore a condomn and all but I was never on a pill and I'm not looking forward to being a mom or getting pregnant anytime soon. So I'm assuming he's okay with that ever since he never wants to ruin my life. I'm not gonna let no guy take advantage if me. My firsr day on the job will be tomorrow from eight until three. Wish me luck. Hopefully to see Ray before I go to work ( which a shouldn't take long). Its just training. I've been feeling fat lately a little bit of chubbiness every time I look in the mirror I felt useless. Diffwrent. Mt aunt once asked me," What three things you would change?" My response was," Hair, Body ( losing weight), and clothes." i have the habit of comparing myselr to a lot of girls lately. No wonder people look at me different. People say I'm nice and all but they just take it out of their own kind. I see other girls profile pics and think," Wow! I wish I was them. But people think thag being different is a bad thing. I'm barely at all happy. Their are only certain things that makes me happy and I'm trying to ear certajn amount of food so I won't be overeating. I've been doing that a lot lately. I honestly don't wear makeup only on special occasions if I wear makeup it would be natural makeup. I swear my brother is so freaking annoying. He got mad because I got some cereal when I didn't even get a lot. He's a little snitch. But if I tell on him no one does a damn thing about it and he's sayinf that I eat to much. I beg to differ. I only got two bowl of cereal (froot loops). I shouldn't be listening to a 12 year old anyways. Sometimes I wish I was the only child you know. But I will not let a small little thing stress me out. My dog is my only best friend. I don't know what I do without him. I'm just not gonna eat a lot. Not just becahse my brother tokd me too. Well maybe it is. I already feel fat. I already know that Ray is gonna pay more attention to his ex's baby more than because he went out with her before ( the one that's messing around with the dad). The guy that looks like he's in his fifty's and is married as well. I doubt that his brother will be their . i have a bit of a crush on him ( which is bad because he's so-called married and I never seen a ring on his finger) but I kinda don't like him and I swear I would always catch him starring at me but he looks like a player. Hell, he probably is one. But I will go ahead and freshen up for tonight. His dad has a tournament game. I guess I do write big. But I do like Ray. I hope we get to stay together forever with no relationship problems and so far it hasn't been anu and I like for it to stay that way. I Cant wait to see him.
The Forgotten One