Do Not Disturb
October is finally here!!
Dear future me,
October is finally here. My favorite part of the season (well besides December). So much has happened to me as of between now and yesterday. My ex William texted me back seeing that he now has a girlfriend who isn't that pretty if,you ask me but that's just jealousy talking. I mean yea a part of me still loves him but not as much as I use to when we were together. But I'm glad he's moved on and so have I he tried to apologize to me but I just couldn't take it enough to what he has to say. So instead I blocked him. I thought I did the first time but I guess he created another account. I lurked his page to see what she looked like but then, I stopped because it hurted so much. But it was a good thing of me breaking up with him. He was being possessive and always wanting to tell what to do and who and who not to texts and so I got sick and tired of that I do wish them the best. She's all the way up their and I'm all the way down here. Tried asking mom into letting me see him but her answer was a no. She doesn't approve of the guy thinking the fact that he could be some type of serial killer when actually he's not even though we actually met on a dating website called MeetMe online and he only lives like an hour away but maybe if we talk a bit more then she'll consider on chsnging her mind. I don't see what the big deal is. She meets tons of guys. She met my dad at the age of 18 or is it 17. Whatever. But all because she doesn't want me to end up like her that's some bullshit because that's never going to happen. I'm not trying to be rude or anything but its the honest truth. I keep going for the same guys that's not evem worthi it. I'm that desperate enough to where I even downloaded a dating website to find guys into making me happy when in reality their all just the same. They only want one thing and one thing only and that is sex. But I'm just to Whats the word naive to want a guy. I mean you can say that I'm somewhat still single but somewhat not. Someone I know had the nerve to text me after all these years of being in the same class together. I wonder what made her to think of wanting to talk to me. We don't talk as much she just ask me about my day and that's about it ( a "friend"). . I'm not that much of a socializer so I guess you can call me an introvert. I'm the one who goes out and talk to people but alaays get ignored but that's life. Who knows how long I've been trapped inside my room. But my period haven't came on hopefully it will by the end of this week but the good news is that my birthday is this Friday. I mean its nothing special about it compared to white spoiled rich girls that gets everything they want ( well most of them). I already know a few things that I want. Yes you can say that I'm somewhat depressed but writing in a diary for the past 8 years going on nine was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I had an online diary but started over because my mom found it and read it and so maybe this time I will make it to private instead of public. The only reaso why I've made ir public is to see how many people are willing to read but I only made it to at least 4 followers ( which is pretty good to me ) but then again had to erase it because my mom found out that I thought about cutting myself . Even though I told her I haven't. Stopped by Books A Million to see if, they have a spot opening and turns out they do so that's probably one of the things that will seem interested in me since I have a love for reading. I guess this is enough writinf as of now. Write more late if,I can. I would write more but theirs nothing else that I have to say as of this moment. Its been two weeks ever since my period has been off but I try not to get so stressed over about it. I guess you can call this my depression diary of somewhat. You won't believe this but he called me yes he did. He has a bit of a country accent but to be honest I mind of dig it a little bit after all this time he called me. He said he wanted to "suprise" me and sure enough he did. I don't know what I'm going to do as of now part of me wants to break up with him and part of me doesn't. Ughhhh!!! I wish that I was still single but I'll finger something out.
The Forgotten One
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