Ranmat

The Last Hours
2017-11-26 01:38:18 (UTC)

Venting. Mom

Once again the expectations are too high for me

Last week I went in service I recycled we can I buy Jonah some shoes I get about four loads of wash I clean I marinated meat I have class movie adventure with his friends and afterwords we went to dinner. We got home late and have to get up early because the circuit overseer was here. That was Sunday. In between time I clean and folded clothes and I had a braid appointment. Getting Braids help me manage my time but Brandy really messed me up and I didn’t get home from getting my hair braided until 3 AM.

I had to get up Monday morning in three hours to go to work. So all this week I’m trying to study for the certification I am trying to work out I’m trying to clean up and Jonah so behind in reading comprehension with me in every night reading and talking about what we read.

Thank goodness it was Thanksgiving week and I had at least a day to catch up

It irritated me this weekend that I told my mom about a month ago that we needed a new mop. Well I went out and bought one because the floor needed it. I haven’t had time to Mop. Because I’m so busy washing dishes and cooking and cleaning.

The way she hints to me to mop is to offer to buy One.

So Thursday night I me Carne Asada tacos. She enjoyed them but one of them the next night so she went out and bought the meat. Well I’m still trying to fold the clothes from last Saturday and there’s food in the fridge raider to eat but she wanted those turbos on a day she had off the whole day and did nothing. The pre-marinated mean takes about 10 minutes to cook. I had planning on catching up in a chapter that I have neglected have a week to get through the site words with Jonah. It wasn’t in my plan to cook but the expectation was if she bought the meet I could cook it. What irritated me is that no one asked me what I’m doing with my time. Everything in this house is assumed.

She does try to help her help makes more work for me Jonah needed underwear, socks and T-shirts. He doesn’t ask me what size he is or that she’s going to go buy it Whelm she buys the wrong sizes give me the bag and they go exchange it. I don’t have time to go exchange it doesn’t doing everything else Is that it’s Black Friday. Who wants to go to the store and exchange some socks this time of the year?

She does the dishes about four times a month We don’t have a dishwasher and I cook a lot to save money and have the food last so I washed dishes about three times a day When she does the dishes she doesn’t watch the big pots and sometimes she doesn’t get the food off of the parts after washing them so I have to rewash them or complete them all the while while I’m waiting for her to get out of the kitchen because our kitchen is too small for two people to be in there to actually get in and do what I need to do that’s on my schedule. When she does the dishes she doesn’t watch the big pots and sometimes she doesn’t get the food off of the parts after washing them so I have to rewash them or complete them all the while while I’m waiting for her to get out of the kitchen because our kitchen is too small for two people to be in there to actually get in and do what I need to do that’s on my schedule

I don’t say anything because I know she’s making the effort to help me But it doesn’t end up being help.


I feel like such a shitty daughter and I’m not I shouldn’t feel guilty

Why do I feel guilty when I’m running myself into the ground

I mean this life to be more simplified
I need help

So my mom was telling me how her left side of her arm is numb and swollen which is never good to hear

My mom does not take care of herself. She drinks a screwdriver and takes an Aleve every morning for years she has a screwdriver when she comes home she fries her food she loves her steak and potatoes and never works out She accepts her body breaking down on her as if she has no say in refuses to talk about it with me

What do I do




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