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2017-11-15 14:55:42 (UTC)

"Low" by ..

"Low" by Words

Three inches above the floor
Man in a box wants to burn my soul
And I'm tired, and I'm tired.
Is that the truth he says
The pain is easy
Too many words, too many words

November 15, 2017 1:57 PM

For the first time ever, I overslept and missed Calc. I woke up about 15 minutes after the class started, and it's only a 50 minute class so I just went back to sleep and then I didn't really wake up again until a half hour ago. Just shy of 11 hours of sleep total. Probably because I've been habitually sleep deprived for a bit because of midterms.

I lived for days inside my dream, though. It was probably only a few hours, but it was days and I had a memory for that new life I was living and I kind of liked it. I can barely remember it now but it had lots of romantic overtones???

At some point, Isaac was there and he said something about me not caring enough about him, I guess. But he didn't say it in an accusing way, he just said it as a fact and he didn't seem much effected by it anymore. I remember saying, "C'mon Isaac, you know I always..." and I put my hand on his back and rubbed in circles but I distinctly remember having no idea what to say next. I always what? I always loved him? lol thaaaat's definitely not true, I didn't ever love him. I wanted to say I always cared about him, I think. I don't know.

I also remember these weird snippets of interaction with a kid in my calculus class whose name is Eli. I've seen Eli around a lot and I've seen him looking at me, too, but he only just approached me earlier this week (we just chatted). He was super nice. In my dream, he gave me a snickerdoodle one day and then another day gave me this really fluffy PUMPKIN cookie (what is my fixation with cookies, idk) and—okay, he tackled me. And we rolled onto the floor laughing and it was super intimate and cheesy but I enjoyed it. God, why am I always craving touch. Gross.

Liv was also there, just leaning against the wall of the hallway outside my dorm room and we talked about Who Knows What. I just know that I loved her, as always. :)

There were some elements of terror in my dream, as usual. Some mystery with these owl-monsters in the woods and Lily was, like, dead maybe? I dunno.

When I woke up, I felt really gross and sick, but this girl Mia gave me a cookie :) u c what i means with the cookies now??? But whatever Milano cookies are really good and it made me happy and bless her.

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