NewmanG

My space
2017-10-09 09:09:32 (UTC)

9th October 2017

I didn't think I was going to write anything today, just because I feel like shit. Full of cold I think. But no, now I have to. Apparently I'm close to suspension for many reason, because of the complaint, because of my decisions and judgement and finally, because I'm a potential risk to myself. I don't know what I can do. He's told me he's trying to support me, trying to sort some paid time off rather than the usual unpaid, but like I said to him, that might just make things worse. I'll once again be on my own with nothing but time. If anything, that's what'll do it to me. My own fucking head as always. He asked me to tell him everything. I told him I can't, I can't tell anyone. Everyone always finds out and I really can't fucking risk that. Am I putting just everything from everywhere onto myself? Are even the little things just becoming big things because I just can't not think of something? I don't know. I really don't know what the fuck is going to happen now. With everything. And I'm really fucking scared. What the fuck am I supposed to do?


That's that now.. fucked

-0... today




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