I'm so loving this woman
So my new "friend" and I are getting closer each day. We chat a little more. We open up a little more. We tell each other a little more. Everything is working out. Finally, after all these years of someone cheating on me, leaving me, stealing from me, and pretty much just destroying my life to the point of suicidal thoughts, I finally caught a break.
Instead of coming home to a ransacked home, kids gone, the trash left behind, and the freaking silence. The silence was killing me. Come home with no one to speak to and nothing to say except to myself. It was not fun at all. Of course, it brought me down so many times. I remember all too well wishing God would just let me die in peace. No pain, no anger, just quietly slip away out of people's lives.
Now? I met someone that I really like. Everyday I find out something about her and it makes me like her more each and every day. We are getting closer and we're starting to trust each other more and more. I'm flying so high right now that when I look down, I can't help but scare myself a little. If I fall down from this, I don't know. I just don't know. The pain will be unrepairable and this would be the last straw and I'm sure I'll fall off the deep end. I don't have a choice. Can't go backwards so I have too keep flying.
I pray to God I don't mess this up. This is it. This is the biggest road I'm taking in life. I'm so in love with this woman. I can't fail. This has to work. It just feels so right.