Oh man. I'm starting to talk to #11 more and more. I'm really starting to dig her. She makes me feel so giddy and stuff that I thought was dead in me. She has made me realize my soul is not dead. I can still feel the innocence of liking someone again. That feeling you had in high school when you had a crush on someone or maybe puppy love? I'm feeling that again. I'm old so I've felt that before. Once when I was 16 with a girl named Heidi. Another time when I was 19 with Laura. Then I thought it was my ex and her name is Satan.lol I mean Maria. Those were the three. Yup, only three.
Now......this lady is pulling me in the same direction. Maybe it's too early to say she is but the feeling is there and the pull is very strong. I'm trying to cool my jets as much as I can but she to me is such a strong magnet, it's hard to resist but I'm trying. I don't want to look too much like an idiot. But for now, I'm loving it. I'm so so so so happy. I know it's stupid but I'm soaking in everything I can learn about her as a person. The more I listen and observe, the more I'm digging her. She is so down to earth. She is so humble because she's so beautiful but yet so humble about herself. It makes her look even cuter.
I like her cute laugh. She is so compromising. She isn't a princess type that needs or wants to be catered. Our first date, I was driving so when we had dinner, I didn't want to finish my glass of wine just for safety purposes you know? I asked her is she wanted to finish my drink and she did. No worries about swapping spit or anything. She just drank it. She goes with the flow and I could go on and on but I know peeps would just be rolling their eyes already so I'll stop... for now :)
I'm now so glad I made it through those dark times. Many many nights I was at my soul's end. All the abuse that I took from my ex (that is never ending) and finally I get a ray of sunshine that I have to be honest I thought would never shine on me again. Even if it did, I thought my soul was dead. But it's not and it's still alive. No time in the world to be looking back or looking down. I'm on this magical ride and I will go for it. Yeah, still a little scared of falling off since that's been my life so far but I'm on it, hanging on and not looking back.
I'm so happy right now!!! Life is good and who knows? Looking way ahead, this lady could be the one. :)
BTW, Now that I lost all that weight, something is happening around me. People are actually nicer, strangers are starting conversations with me like when I'm in line at the grocery store and stuff. That never happened before. Even at our gym class workout sessions, I'm getting greeted and patted on the back saying hi and stuff from women I don't even really know. I'm thankful but I was going huh? What the heck is going on? I'm still the same me as I always have been for years. All of a sudden, all this is happening? This is all good stuff of course but where were they when I ws in that dark dark place going through some tough times? I sure could've used their friendship then. But hey, life is good at the moment and this is so rare for me that I'm going to enjoy it as much as I can. Not much can get me down.
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