Gattina

My words to describe
2017-09-03 20:37:12 (UTC)

Hello, I am Gattina

I am a simple gal, really. As cliche as it sounds, i am easy going, caring/understanding and loving. I have my share of faults as well and openly admit my failures and negative descriptions of myself. I am stubborn to a fault, lack the patience and hate change. Oh goodness, how i hate change.

I have struggled with mental illness for the better part of 15 years now. Anxiety and depression are my friends that visit a bit too often for my liking. They def. remind me that i am human and keep me in check. i have learned a lot about myself through them, though. Ironic really.

I have lived most of my life in Northern Michigan. Yes it is beautiful, yes people come to visit/vacation/buy their second or third home here. I hate it. My heart longs for something other than, whatever "this is".

I was married for 5 years and now separated for just over 14 months. I can say with all honesty, that marriage happened because i thought if i did not take this chance, it would never happen for me. For the last 14 months roughly, i have lived a pretty lonely life. Some would relish this change, i, on the other hand, despise it. I would rather surround myself with company, any given day, then to be alone. I hate alone. I am lonely.
Before you already pass judgement on my "loneliness" please understand i have tried. I have explored new interests, taken myself out to dinner a few times, visited a cinema alone..I have done it all. I still dislike alone time.

I am child free. Ugh, those last 4 words were difficult for me to write. I often wonder if i was too careful (if that is such a thing) or if the Universe just said, "Nope, not in her cards". Either way, it sucks. Go ahead, ask me if i want children. Yes, yes i do. I am envious of the friends i have that have families. Christmas time, birthdays, first days of school....All the photographs that come with this. Weddings, romances, even groundings, heh. I want that all. At 43, i better find that baby daddy soon or....Yes i am aware that it probably will not happen naturally. I get it. If i am lucky enough in my life, perhaps i can share someone elses family or..or maybe i won't.

I have several health scares in my life at the moment. I have chose to write to burden myself from my other 'demons' taking up my space.
Thank you for reading.

What else would you like to know about me?





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