All that is
Ad 2:
2017-08-31 01:11:55 (UTC)


i think that if somebody seeks revenge after you betray them, then they probably really loved you and u meant something special to them. because only someone who knew that the kind of loyalty they gave to someone was that deep, would seek revenge.
if i give you undying loyalty, then expect for me to punish your betrayal by seeking revenge. If i don't, then my loyalty towards you can't have been that deep.

Actors: They truly live in a different world. some of them are delusional.

After guys bust that's when they're at their dumbest - they start walking into things, talking jibberish and to themselves, laughing

I think i just realised i might be complicated. Before i used to think that being complicated meant having a diffuclut family, external factors etc. like you maybe have kids, or 'baggage' in some way. But now i also see how one might be complicated internal factors. a cocktail of depressive disorders, coupled with low self esteem, coupled with imposter syndrome, coupled with anxiety, can make for a complicated personality. but i have some those things and i think it's making me or had made me slightly more complicated espcially more recently. after i broke up with cm i was happy as f. i was in my element. wasn't catching feels for no one. even around november time 2016, i was still fine. but then after new yr i think somethin changed. maybe it was going to sos and seeing omri, and other potential baes who were fit, and maybe also seeing sos as a yr to be open to whatever experiences. and so with that i unknowingly regrew the capacity to feel somethin for someone. No wait actually it may have started with josh. yes, that's it. that second time we fucked in the park. after that i felt like wtf whn i didn't hear from him. ooo and thennnn i remember now, sotye is the next person i was curshing on mannnn. and i think that's what opened the door for this feels fest i'm currently drowning in.

someone who you llike but are kind of afraid of at the same time. that's le. i wonder whether that's part of the reason i like him. because that's the relationship model i've witnesssed growing up between my mmy and dddy. she liked him but she was also slightly afriad of him - not just physcially, but also afriad of mental ridicule, or of aggrevating him, slightly walking on egg shells at times. but maybe this kept it exciting for her. Being married to a man who's favour you were still working on winning to win must have been exciting, like getting your cake and eating it. it would have felt like marrying the gorgeous, slightly more experienced guy who makes you nervous after date no 2. you feel flattered at the fact that someone of higher stature was paying you attention. and this is how i feel about le. i'm kinda afraid of him and of his wrath or ridicule and power.