All that is
sex with a muslim boy
Never again. Not with a practicing muslim at least. I'm not about that life. they're weird as fuck. I mean i knew he was weird to begin with but his east London vibe made me think ok maybe he's more seasoned and 'normal' in that department. Not like the others in his family who exude this slightly off-centre autistic energy. I felt worse for it to be honest.
It began with some mild flirting. He'd pinch my waist or tickle me. or poke me on my back. little things like that. But we'd never had the opportunity to be alone. But i knew he liked me in some way first of all cos at the cinema one time our elbows were touching on the arm rest. and neither of us moved our arms.
then when hbb came back we got to spend more alone time together because we'd all be in hbb's room watching a film and we'd sit close to eachother, hands held or touching. it was a turn on and i wanted more. Although i was a little surprised when we were holding hands beneath the covers once and he slowly guided my hand to his dick, which was hard at this point. i was a little thrown off. Cos here i was thinking we were puppy luvvy but nah he had other plans. I was with it though so that didn't stop me from pursuing more time alone with him. there was one time when i asked if he wanted to watch a movie that night. he said yea but didn't suggest anything. I had to pull everything out of him. i attributed it to his apparent shyness. So anyway we started watching the film, and i sat in my usual spot except i was closer to the bed this time, like slightly perched on the bed. but he didn't come near. the film went on and he was on his phone and on his laptop. kinda not really watching. then suddenly he leapt up and went to the door. turns out his friends came over to visit for the evening (very late though like 11pm). and I just thought wtf? then i waited for about 30-45 mins. and when he didn't come back i called it a night and went to bed, a bit irritated. Then i decided that the next time i saw him i'd be slightly cold. and i was. but that only lasted for two occasions. yesterday hbb told me that tsn had gone to basildon to stay with his cousin. and I felt a sense of disappointment. Like 'what? he didn't even tell me or say bye.' I even wondered whether his lack of forthcomingness was due to some kind of muslim guilt, and that he went away to stop himself from sinning further. so when i came home last night after a self-inflicted pointless journey, and he walked out of the living room as I walked into it, i betrayed myself by smiling involuntarily. Almost like a relief. And he must have clocked because he warmed immediately too. So we talked for a couple of minutes. i was eating grapes and asked him whether he'd like some and he said nah he's ok. Then he said, i'd like a headrub. I didn't take it to mean anything and continued as normal. But then when he mentioned it again this time saying 'so are you gonna give me a headrub?' in that east london twang, i said yea. then he said 'where is it gonna happen your room or..' then i said 'mine'. then he said 'i'll be up in about 10 mins' so i was happy. thinking maybe my disastrous weekend might be salvaged at last. and I went upstairs and tidied my bedroom in haste thinking time was against me. But half an hour goes by and i still didn't see him. I started thinking maybe he got cold feet. Then close to an hour later, he comes and knocks on my door. and it opens by itself. he walks in on me lying on my carpet. I had trapped wind so i was trying to relieve myself. yea i know gross. so he sits on my bed and lies down then i start talking to him. he doesn't say much. or ask any questions that show he's interested in getting to know me. so i do most of the questininong. then he says 'so when am i getting this headrub?' long and short i rub his head for what feels like forever - a strange thing considering it's kinda non-sexual, plus he has a slightly funny shaped head that i imagine he was made fun of for at school. then he says to me, whilst lying on my lap, 'shall we get under the covers?' at this point i say yea and i catch what looks like a look of 'slight nervousness on his face. we get under the covers and begin cuddling. almost immediately he tries to move my hand onto his dick. I'm shaking my head saying 'uh uh' indicating 'not yet' and he's responding by saying 'yessss' indicating 'its time' then at this point, i bring my face close to him, as he's lying on the bed, head on my pillow, and when i approach his lips with mine, i don't get that reciprocation that one would expect in a situation that has escalated to this stage. he just looks blankly at me. and him thinking 'huh?' and then he gets on top of me and starts moving his hard dick forcefully on my crotch area. well not forcefully but with a force that felt disproportionate to the phase of foreplay we were in. Like we hadnt even kissed or anything. also from that point on there seemed to be a lack of care about whether or not i was enjoying it or i was getting off. none whatsoever. he just kept humping on top of me. it was weird actually like how you'd imagine a fifteen year old who's finally scoring for the first time to behave. then he asked for some tissues. god knows why since he hadn't cum yet. through out the rest of the course of our romp, requests for tissue and wipes would feature heavily. then while he was humping me, he asked 'i'm not inside you am i?' and i thought to myself, surely if u were inside me you'd know???' and then i said 'no' then he continuted pawing away on top of me. and the other thing is that he burried his face in the crook of my neck so i couldn't see it. i tried to prise his face up with mine, and with my hands so that i could try to kiss him or at least look a his face, but he wouldn't look up. but i did get a peek of his expressions (maybe that's what he was trying to hide? wouldn't surprise me since the show of the enjoyment of sex probably makes him uncomfortable). and he wouldn't kiss me. when i kissed his lips he wouldn't reciprocate. i think he's got issues tbh. i had a problem wiht the non kissing part tbh. then the other thing is he wouldn't touch me. like pleasure me. he wouldn't put his had on my crtoch. so i had to guid his hand right to the last detail. i placed his fingers on me, thinking he'd take the initiative (not that there was much initiative left to be taken at this point), and apply pressure and move his fingers. but no. he just left it there. so i then had to place my own hand on top of his and move his fingers for him. can u imagine? it was likfe having sex with a mormon. i definitely got the sense that he didn't get enjoyment from plearsureing me or touching me, but that i was just a vessel through which he could let out and channel his lust. it's also probably fair to reason that his lust had little to do with me - as in he probably didn't like me - his lust was just the regular male pent up lust.