Trying To Live
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Messages to my dad.(did you ever love me?)
Its been almost three years since we last spoke. I've grown up so much, sometimes i wonder if you'd recognise me. Dad why don't you love me? It shouldn't matter to me that you don't care about me but it does. i cant voice the pain of knowing even my own blood disowned me so easily because people think its wrong to feel anything other than disgust and hatred to you after what you've done, after who you became. But your still my dad. Sometimes i don't think its possible for someone to love me. I have lost so many people over the years, friends, family, i always end up alone. Maybe its me, Maybe i'm unlovable. After all i am related to a monster.
I remember this one time i confided in a friend, i told him my story and what you did. Do you want to know what he asked me once i was finished? He asked if because my Father is a paedophile does that make me 'half a paedophile'? Is that truly what people think when they look at me? I am nothing like you dad, nothing.
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