This life
2017-08-27 02:20:31 (UTC)


Well mom left last Sunday. I thought I would be more sad. I just feel dead inside. There is nothing I can do about it now, nothing I can say. She's gone and starting her new life. Her sister waited until she new mom was gone and sent me a nasty hate text. I've copied it and will paste it here.


I have been wanting to say some things to you ever since you betrayed your mother. I don't understand in what world you thought it would be ok for you To move your father into SANDRA'S house. It was so wrong on so many levels. You knew she did not want it, you knew she did not like him, but you did it anyway. I also want to know what sort of man would even accept the offer to move into his Ex wife's house. He should have declined your offer to move into her house.I want to know if you considered her feelings at all. In the last years of your mothers life she thought it was all planned. Never did she think she would have to move. I don't know if you realize how bad you damaged your relationship, or how deeply you hurt her. She told me once that you choosing him over her hurt more than when Jason died. His was an accident, you did this on purpose. This she will get over in time and she will always love you. But I also don't know if you remember all the times she helped out with your children? She was the one who lived next door and did what she could to help you for the last twenty years or so. Then you don't talk or come see her, or even ask to help with this very difficult. And physically taxing task of packing your life in boxes and moving. No you and your sister get mad because the cry baby complained it was to hot in her house and she would not turn on the AC. REALLY!!!!!!. Did you really think that was to way to treat your mother. What happened to loyalty and respect? Did you ever STOP and think about what you were doing before you just jumped into this ridiculous idea you had?

There are so many things I wanted to say to you, but decided to be as nice as I could be considering what you did. I think it is time for you to do some soul Searching, and some deep prayer for understanding the situation and maybe try putting yourself in her shoes.

Thank you,

I responded with "Fuck you, you only know half" And blocked her number from my phone.

So I guess my mom has been trash talking to her family and making this all my fault. I moved dad into my house so she could have her house to herself. She chose to leave because she couldn't stand to be near dad. That's not my fault. That's her decision. She was so mad at me I stayed away. So I'm bad for not helping her pack? She wouldn't even talk to me! I didn't choose dad over her, she made that choice for me by choosing to move away. I guess there will be no long distance friendship with mom either. That's ok. I've come to a comfortable place with it all.

We're thinking about moving into mom's old house. more room. We'll have to upgrade a few things, but we have to get an estimate on how much it will cost to fix up. Either way we will have to fix it up if we move into it or rent it out.

So tonight I'm working my Assisted Living job. Been quiet enough. Had one lady get mad that I was checking on her. So, I respect her wishes, document, notify lead team member, and don't check on her. But that has been the excitement for the night. I'm working the wing by myself tonight. I usually end up alone anyway. Someone always calls out every weekend. It's a nice enough place, but there is a lot of discontent among the full time employees. I like it well enough. I don't know if they like me. They haven't said one way or another. So I guess that's good.

There is a funny show called "Impractical Jokers" on late night TV. These guys will do and say anything!!! I bust a gut every time I watch them. I don't usually watch TV, I prefer Netflix or surfing the web or writing in here. It's time to be quiet and alone and not having to make conversation at home, or work my ass of at the dialysis center. I really like it here. I like the quiet time.

I've been playing this video game called Witcher 3 The Wild Hunt. So much fun!! I never played video games until this passed Christmas when Cam got me one that I thought looked interesting on the TV commercials. So he actually got me one. It was so much fun, that this is actually my third video game I've played. I'll be sad when Cam moves out and takes his PlayStation 4 with him. lol By then, I'll probably have my own.

I got my new uniforms from work. I used to be a 3X large fitting. I am now a Large snug fitting. And I am a Medium size pants. However, I think my body might be done losing weight. I've been at 170lbs for a while. I know that's still big, but it's way better than the 284lbs I was. I'd like to lose 20 more but I think I'll have to do some gym workouts to burn more fat and build muscle. But that sounds like work and a commitment and a dent in my video gaming time. 170lbs isn't so bad. lol

Good night. Hope this was not as depressing as usual. I'm feeling much better. I'm actually glad she's finally gone.