TM49

My History Of Familial Incest
2017-08-20 20:42:33 (UTC)

No Longer In My Prime?

I know this is something I say a LOT and the truth is that I am not. I am not a teenager, or a sexy 20 something. When I was those ages I was hot stuff....I had it "going on" and when you are young you don't realize how short of a time you get to be your best you. I always thought (stupidly) that age wasn't something to worry about. I would always be good to go. Now here I am a little on the other side of 40 and I look in the mirror and think what the hell happened? Where is the young me? Of course I know some of it is an overreaction. I am not hideous and have been called sexy by more than a few, but when they say that it boggles my mind. I think pictures of me look better than the real me, which is ridiculous considering it IS me. Sigh. I want back what I can't have and that is my youth, when men of all ages stared and tried to get my attention. Standing next to a girl half my age I am invisible. But I know...likely at some point in time when I WAS that age I was out somewhere and some woman in her 40's was standing behind me...perhaps in a line...thinking the same of me. Time runs it's circle right?

Aging is harder for women, and maybe I am just saying that because I am a woman. Still at the end of the day most men are simply visual. The eye candy turns them on whereas a woman can be interested in a man for who he is and not just what he looks like. I am attractive but not eye candy. I accept this but it's hard. I don't think I am unique in this either. I think almost all women in my age range goes through this. They see their 40's as a time to grasp onto what they have. So I watch what I eat and exercise and take care of my skin and drink plenty of water. I am battling the demon of age and it's a stubborn bastard. Yes...I have strength and brains. I am a great person to know, and have decent esteem and confidence...or whatever you want to call it. But even I am not immune to moments of insecurity concerning my looks and my age. I am just getting over a period of tiredness and low mood, so it isn't the best time to take a visual inventory of myself lol.

Young ladies....don't waste that youthful glow and vigor with depression and misery. Don't waste it someone who doesn't appreciate it. It won't last forever...my wise thought for the day:)

-TM




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