Sherri

my open book
2017-08-17 22:34:19 (UTC)

my life's old/new adventure to come

I turned 18 in December and just graduated from high school. There was a bit of shock and excitement that came over me. Where had all these years go by? and what will I be doing in the next phase of my life? Well it's easy to say you have it all figured out or that it's so complicated that you do not believe you will ever make it. However neither of these are true. It's not easy to figure it and it's not too complicated that you will never find your way. Two realizations I had to learn to live by very quickly. Where did I initially imagine my life to be after high school? I imagined going to a four year university, and you may think this is crazy... I was picturing myself to stay enough years to earn a P.H.D. in Psychology and and a P.H.D in music. And I was convinced it would be at Texas A&M. Insanely I imagined myself going after two majors at the same time to enable me to achieve two doctorates. Here's what I am doing as of now. I am starting out at Lone star and I am working on an associate of arts in vocal performance. I have loved to sing my entire life and even used to be apart of an orchestra playing Viola. So your all wondering where did Psychology come in the picture? If your a musician then stick to one major! Which is true. Though here's what I've been dealing for a long time til about now. I have not always been overly confident. I was shy in high school and not many people even knew I sang. I was not so convinced that being good at music was not anything of value to appreciate. At times in my younger childhood, I felt bullied and rejected for not being good at sports/athletics. So it's made me not appreciate my arts talent as much as I should have all these years. It was not until recently when I started writing my own original music, that I became confident with who I am. Back then, I figured with a psychology major and a music major, it'd make me sound more impressive to others. My parents had even told me they thought I was the right personality type for a psychology major. I also wanted to know about myself and my emotions, and the psychological demeanor of others. I figured I'd be able to understand my own insecurities better from a scientific stand point and that I could help others by being a psychologist. Obviously I know I am probably not alone with facing these issues. However, it was the wrong way of looking at the things. We should not accomplish things just to impress others, and we should not care what others think about our life abilities. I may not be destined to play on a sports team and be the most athletic girl in school, though I have a lot of passion for music and even writing my own songs now. Writing songs help me let out hidden emotions and write about personal experiences. I now know this is all I need to focus on, and should turn off the voice in my head that is telling me otherwise. God gave every person a different gift and every persons gift is different. One person may be good a drawing, while another might be the head cheerleader captain of a state team. Then we have our academic people that may not be athletic or artsy, though do well in science, mathematics, and engineering. Though it is all of equal importance and should all be recognized with the same respect. This may have taken me all of my childhood and teenage years to realize this, though is the most important lesson to learn. When I complete my associate of arts at Lone star in vocal performance, and begin my journey at a four year university, I want to focus on being happy and proud of it:) It's going to take too much hard word, dedication, and time not to be thankful for it.


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