always wth love

Ad 2:
2017-08-16 17:16:38 (UTC)

He said "you" pushed me away

He said "you" pushed me away.....Did I force him to say the brutal truth the way it came crashing upon my shoulders this time? It appears that I have done all praying help me to God it hasn't been enough to for us? These questions haunt me that's all I can think of now? I want God help us in our relationship please be patience with us. Again! I fucked up big time! That I have shattered everything to point of darkness appeared so good in the beginning. I never thought I could do so much damage its basically did it again! It wasn't all my fault to an degree; therefore, I don't like cannot fix the pieces to point NOW am trying my best! Today was very locked into texting my close friend N'dea I haven't been a good friend to her, I have been ignoring all her advice that she had given me for past two months now. (I feel so like cant fully bare it the fact am still breathing with a beating heart). I have been "extremely thinking of my boyfriend " it didn't stop there it got worse. I'd texted my sis asked a question "What was your first impression of me? "hoping ease this feelings of sadness breaking into HUGE fear that lingers deeper then it could be possible. I have thought less who was two years ago in my education. Im much better that part of my life now, Its just feels what did to him my boyfriend has dischange how I should appear to be to him. I love him so much deeply in my heart I never did before. Is it fair to feel like isn't good enough to my boyfriend?? I feel inadequate because never thought I could fully feel this low :( . So? I'd broken his trust in me and, yes am able to build it up in time, would it be enough to stay being his girl for the long haul! Is it important to say tomorrow what does that day says about us??? I didn't me too be so lost this time around am fighting every trigger each time but my thoughts loosing you scares me. Give me a chance to build the communicate again through the phone calls and texts just need your help like I'd done for you for the past year we've known each other. Please don't let me go quite yet am not ready to let go of you. Just help me, James your girlfriend <3