Sarah

One day at a time
2017-08-15 19:50:25 (UTC)

There's something about me you should know

I have anxiety and I know you know that, but I want to explain it from the different areas of my life it affects. It affects our relationship, to wit is an actual thing, it's called "relationship anxiety." It's fear of not being enough, fear of being annoying, fear of being un-attached, fear of being too clingy, worry that your partner will leave you, needing constant reassurance, very affectionate, just to name a few.. But in all of that ugly, there are reasons and explanations as to why.. Obviously, the fear of not being enough, stems from not ever being enough, along with that comes the need for constant reassurance and worry. The feeling of being un-attached comes from a place of defense; fearing the inevitable will happen, one will detach to protect their feelings. The feelings of being annoying just come with the territory, someone with anxiety tend to overthink every situation. The tendency of being overly affectionate comes from a place of abandonment and wanting to hold onto that special something.


I also have anxiety that affects very specific areas of my life; ie, my ex husband and death. I have found strength in these few things, but still have moments of weakness.


Forgive me and understand that I've been broken and damaged and lied to by those who promised they were different. Forgive me as I transition into normal and be patient with me as I grow into a better version of myself. I know it can be frustrating, but I promise, it'll be worth it.




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