All that is
the other thing
the other thing that happneed today
I went into sainsburys to buy water and bumped into this guy who i'd seen a number of times in the past. I remember him because when i frst clocked him it was at one of my frist times at livin proof, and he was this mad gorgeous guy. at the time he was dancing with these two girls, one of whom was going for it hard - she was trying to impress him with her dancing, clearly fancied him, while her friend played a supporting role. The guy was incredibly gorgeous, like really one of a kind kinda gorg. and i thought - yeaa the girl is pretty let her have it.
1. the first time i clocked him after that was went to the sainsburys in willesden green, the one i currently shop at now funnily enough. he was shopping with a basket, he was at the salad chilled section aile looking like he was tryna decide what he wanted to have for dinner.
2. then not long after that, i clocked him again on the tube. in willesden green. at the time i still lived in neasedn. and he was sitting on the tube, on his phone and i could see a scar on his arm what looked like burns. i thought it gave him this wounded vulnerable quality.
3. after that i think i saw him at nottinghill carnival for a brief second, while i was with my other friends. it was sometime around the start of carnival when most people are jst arriving.
4. then one evening when i was out with cm at that icecream place that used to be in leicester sq, hagan daaz or however its spelled, i saw him. he was with that same girl i'd seen him with at the club, and i suppose they were now together since he had his whole arm around her neck as they queued up to choose their icecream. he looked happy, and loved up. i gazed and thought 'ugh if only' for about a second, then i continued on because I was with charles and i thnk it was one of those friay night after work meet ups when we hadne't kissed yet or hadn't said we liked eachother. so i was still into him mad.
5. Then i saw him again at a night called tradition that took place at beach blanket. once again i was with cm. it was during the period after i'd found oiut about him cheating and he was working on making it up etc and i was in a foul mood more often than not. i think we'd had an argument that night. anyway i saw them together. they didn't look 'connectd' if that makes snse. then i was in the bathroom and i saw her using it and washing her hands at the sink. i remember glancing at her and thinking she looks slightly preoccupied. i wouldn't say troubled, but she looked like she was in a mood. and so, later on when i saw them leaving i looked to see whether they would hold hands but they didn't, he walked ahead talking with another friend of his while she trailed quietly behind. That was 2015. I think that may have been the last time i saw him.
6. sixth time was yesterday at sainsburys.
But to clock someone 6 differnt times, not ocunting the time when you guys met? that's mad. and now, i can't help but think to that saying of when you keep bumping into someone, then it's because you need something from them or they need something from you.
so when i saw him yesterday, i clocked him paying for his stuff at the self checkout. our eyes met for a second and there was something there - i wouldn't call it attraction, but there was some kind of registering. i kept on walking but i decided i'd say something . so i waited went back inside to go and buy another plastic bag and he was coming out and i said 'hey' you look mad familiar.. we've met before. i've devinitely seen you somewhere befire. and then i bought my plastic bag and we continued talking.. then i asked him about livin proof and he said ' yea but i haven't been there in years' so i asked him do you model. and he said no. anyway i tell him i'm a photogrpaher and film maker and he says 'oh ok' and i tell him im doing a series of shoots and need models or model lookalikes. then he's like ah..long and short we exhcange info and that's that. we're now connected on fb and hopefully will have some kind of meeting soon.
he's so nice to me in bed he gives me what i want. i never have to ask twice.
watching the all blacks play rugby is like watching theatre. an elaborate dance.
him : will you be my girlfriend?
me: be yourgirlfriend? Mate I've already imagined our entire lives together
(the part where she says that will be like a flash mind talk to her self. or shes talking to him
we have a six bedroom house in surrey
we have three kids and a dog hes called jamie
can i ask him if hed watch a film? but then firstly wed have to have sex like first three monites or wed explode.
these bithces are like witches u know. sucking your soul while lending their shoulder
when i'm high i write screen plays