What I Know, Feel, Think, Dream, and Realize
Do you ever get odd feelings? Well, I'm sure everybody so that's basically a dumb question. Okay, a feeling that's like you're missing something and you don't know what it is. I get these feelings a lot and they get my stomach upset and uneasy. It's a very nauseous feeling. And sometimes it battles with my a certain thought in my mind. That thought being that I have everything I could possibly have and it's not pleasing to me. Like I have everything I could ever need so I shouldn't have to worry about anything missing because, well there isn't anything. But thinking that always makes me feel...well worthless and disappointed. It gives me the mindset of never having to over come my problems or anything because they already are. That I could be at peace because everything I need is already here. That my life will not be used finding what I want or anything interesting because I got everything here. And I don't like that. Because finding what I need, what I am meant for is really what drives me to keep going. Sometimes I tell myself that it's my mind trying to hide the fact that there's something I need that's too difficult to find and that's what helps me cope with these feelings I get. I wonder what I'll find? I think just searching and being out there is really what I want/need. and I'll definitely won't mind the company if there will be any. I just hope my nerves and shyness don't get in the way of potential friendships and memories that I'd be happy to have. Memories I know I won't forget.