All that is
Can you believe this nigga. Nkm. So over the weekend, i spent it at ezn's house. We ended up going out with her flat mate who happens to be ibo as well. he was cute and as the night progressed i found him cuter. i couldn't work out tho whether he was fresh. he had this american accent thing going on that i couldn't place my finger on. when i asked him how old he was when he came here he said 14. he came here for boarding school he said. so his parents have money. then he did uni here and so on and so forth. at the club we went to there was a girl who was fiercely into him and i guess i allowed it to happen because i wasn't sure at the time. they exchanged numbers and in the car on the way home i remember him saying how hot she was etc. and at the time i hadn't shown any obvious interest towards him other than just dancing on him etc.
he joins the list of dudes who have left me hanging over the past few months.
and the strange thing to me is that all of these dudes always seem so into me at the time, like i leave feeling confident that they will holla at me again. Ii don't know what the deal is. Or is it that i'm misreading their behaviour? or are they just pretending at the time? do i give off odd vibes? desperate vibes? I definitely don't think i give off desperate vibes. It may have something to do with the fact that with two out of three of these guys, i've gotten hot and heavy with. with nkm we might as well have had sex considering what we did. and with asrji, even though all we did was kiss, the kissing was soooooo fucking steamy, like we were fucking eachother with our mouths and our eyes. and the thing is that normally with white guys who i've dated in the past, they're more apt to continue normally i think. but maybe black guys suffer more from that madonna complex and so when they see that side of you, even if you didn't have sex, it kind of makes them think along those lines as if you did have sex.
So with Nkm, we said we'd meet