Habibullo-Eugene Kiselev
A Synopsis of my Life
July 19th, 2017, Wednesday, 11:08:40 p.m.
Yekaterinburg, Russia. GMT 05:00
The other day, I was looking through the lovey-dovey letters my ex-wife had sent to me in 2011, still before the time when we had met personally. Her utterances were all of the same kind: love, the Book of Mormon, God, religion, family, children, church meetings, temple marriage etc. I was even shedding tears as I was reading this. I recalled our days, which we spent together, wedding, sealing ceremony… I loved her. Yes, I loved her. When she had first appeared in my home on that Christmas Eve of the year 2011, accompanied by her mom, she was a bit plump and completely inexperienced. She did not have a slightest notion of what love, sensuality and other things like that were. She was an angel, a pure sinless angel in the flesh. She did not even know how to make out! Ah… Ha – ha! When we went for a walk around our city in the evening of the day of her arrival, we had some fun together, running in the snowdrifts, throwing snowballs on each other. I pressed her back against a silver birch and kissed her lips for the FIRST time in her life! Her eyes sparkled brighter than all stars in the Universe! We had a walk around the Dam down the Lenina Avenue straight to the Ural Federal University (a former Ural State University)… This holiness of hers, no doubt, won me over; I thought of her as of a girl, who really needed a strong, loving family. I also thought of having a loving wife and kids… As I am no more a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I think, that it was some sort of a dream. Unreal. Hazy. Illusory. Something, which had nothing in common with the objective reality. Nevertheless, I hold those memories dear, no matter whether this was positive or negative experience in my worthless life.
Yesterday night, I had a telephone conversation with my Teacher, Eugene Lobanov. We discussed many things concerning poetry, namely, we talked of what poetry should be like. I insisted that it should be refined, sublime and beautiful; however, poets should avoid using mere prettiness. After this conversation of ours, there happened a kind of a consequential turn in my creative activity. I have had an insight. A clear and bright insight like a lightning, or like a bolt out of a clear sky. I am a historian. My interests include religion, ancient treatises, mysticism and epic literature. All the details of the mosaic have been brought together. Now I know where to go and what to do as a poet. I have just sent a letter to Eugene Lobanov and now I am awaiting his response impatiently. We will see what he will write back to me. To be honest, I have been thinking of that since yesterday evening.
Finally, today I had a Bible study with Frank Grabanski at the Belinsky Library. We have had a very meaningful conversation, for Frank is doing great job studying the Word of God. As I have already written, I have never done anything like that. We talked about the Soul, the Spirit, saints and Jesus Christ as the only mediator between God the Father and man. He told me that in order to be born again, one should get the Spirit, i.e., the communication with the Lord. “To be born again” does not merely mean “to get baptized”, as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches. We also talked about Islām; he told me a lot of cock and bull stories about this great religion of the East. When we had finished, I went to the Foreign Literature Department to write some stuff about my coming scientific articles.
Okay, it is late, so I would be better going to bed for now.
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