peko peko
2017-07-26 15:33:54 (UTC)

When someone asking you about your future?

It's been two ppl who had been asking me those question! First, a sensei who wants to help me to go to Japan, Second is my boss.

The truth, I don't know anymore about my dream. In the past, I had a good dream.... But, now I feel like I becoming a zombie.... I don't have dream that I want to pursue. But, I have goals this year.

First, I have to pass in JLPT exam level 1. No matter what! Why? Because I can pass it, I can get high salary. I need money to help my family, especially my mom. My dad already retired from his previous office. So that, my mom should pay the school fees of my lil bro and sis. I think if I can pass this exam, I can find a good way to earn much more money.

Second, I want to take TOEFL exam. I talked to my friend whom I know from Theater Club in the past. She told me that she wanted to help me to get better career. She asked me to prepare the TOEFL exam results. Well, that's why I have to take the TOEFL test next month!

Third, I want to buy a house for my parents. I am still trying to earn money as much as I could. I don't know when I can buy it. But, I believe that there's a will there's a way....

Last, my parents asked me to get married. lol. Yeah, this september I'm going to 25. But idk why I think I should not marry too soon! I still have so many duties. If I marry, i am afraid that none take care of my parents, especially my mom. I should have gone to Japan a year ago. But, I am still uncertain. If I go who will take care of them???? And my siblings?? My bro is sucks! He and my lil sis don't get along very well. Until today, I am the only one who can be the peacemaker between them!

When I was a child I wish I could marry with a really good man like in the Barbie story and another fairy tales.... Hahaha How stupid I am! But now? I lost that wish! I lost the only one that I want to be together with!

I lost my confidence to meet my soulmate! Maybe this is my KARMA?? haha. Maybe in the past I did something bad that is unforgiveable? Who knows?

Maybe my curse will be erased if I just being a good person? who knows?

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