BrainsWithoutBeauty

Journal
2017-07-25 10:35:27 (UTC)

dying

It's too late now. I'm dying. That is not hyperbole. Those weapons have done so much permanent damage to my body that I'm dying. I don't have time for bullshit, being hustled or conned or any stupid static from anyone.

I don't like to think about my near death experiences, but I should have died at least a half dozen times. I saw the light at least that many times. I don't have to be afraid because I'm going to heaven. I never had any doubts but others did. Fuck them. Only God can judge me so either love me or leave me alone. Fuck the naysayers because they don't mean a thing. That's Jay-Z and 311, respectively.

I would like to spend as much time as I can with my kith and kin, but apparently that's not going to happen. At least I have made some new friends. It's 5:38am and the sun isn't up yet. I woke up at 4am. It's nice and cool out and doves are cooing. Doves cooing always reminds me of when I was a kid. We had a big old pine tree out back that doves lived in and they would coo a lot. It's comforting.

I am going to head home and eat and start my day. Still broke but at least Mike was kind enough to give me the rest of his pack of cigarettes that got soaked by some creamer a lady spilled. He works at the 7-11 near me. He's a nice guy. Anyway, I'm off.

Oh, I can't access my Facebook anymore and they won't let me make a new one. That means I just lost contact with hundreds of friends and some relatives!!! I almost cried when that happened yesterday. It's like my lifeline. Just as well, being stalked I shouldn't use social media at all. It will be better once I get a working phone someday and my REAL friends' numbers and my relatives as well. Until then, ISOLATION. Blah! :)

Peace be with you.

Take care of each other, we're all we've got.

Be kind and generous to strangers, especially children.

Love you all! <3 <3 <3




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